What Happens in Egypt Stays in Egypt

Welcome back!  It’s time for another lively episode of The Food Family Legacy.  Just a warning though, this is a long post.  You may want to go grab a snack and something to drink.  i hope you enjoy reading this as mush as I enjoyed writing it!

Last time Kiwi tried to live happily ever after with Death, but he wasn’t having any of it.  So she ran off with Theodore and they got married Vegas-style.  In running off with her on-again off-again beau she abandoned her infant daughter, Frittata,  in the Legacy House.  Budweiser got himself a mistress in the form of his wife’s third cousin, Gladys Food, but it’s ok, because he’s not related to her.  Gladys is already knocked up with Budweiser’s illegitimate child.  This child will not only be Gouda’s half-sibling but also her fourth cousin.  (I think that’s right, if it’s not please let me know.)  The branches on our family tree are really starting to twist!

This is outrageous!  I can’t believe all this incest is happening!

It’s not incest, they are not related.

Oh, I suppose you are the expert on family relations?  Wait, wouldn’t that be Alfalfa?  After all, he is the one that had relations with this cousin.

It’s not his fault, he didn’t know they were related…

It’s disgusting.

*quietly crying*

Would you leave her alone, Edamame.  You’re going to make her have a breakdown.

Good.  Maybe then she would take our family tree more serious.

Maybe you should go back into the family inventory for a while.

No!  Please don’t do that to me.  It smells in there.

You’re dead, you can’t smell.

Stop insulting me!  I’m pretty sure it smells.  I can imagine that it does.  Just please don’t put me in there.  Anyway, my headstone brushes up against Icee’s and then she pops out of that thing like some genie and I just can’t take it!

*feeling powerful* Consider this your final warning.  Now be a good girl and sit.

*glaring*

Let’s get back to the story, ladies.  Budweiser’s mistress is the granddaughter of Escargot, who is now the mayor.  He discovered their affair and was not pleased about it.  Needless to say it was a bad career move for Budweiser.  Escargot had plans to ruin his career come the next morning.  But as it would happen Escargot met a very timely demise.  (Oh yeah, he remarried some Doherty woman after Kit Kat died. Complete trophy wife.  He left his two teenage children, John and Tiffanie, in the care of their older sister, Brie and moved into a new home with his new wife’s family.)

Well, that was …lucky…  Did Budweiser have anything to do with it?

Why do you think I don’t bother him about his “hobbies?”  That man is ambitious and will do anything to get what he wants.

And he did.  Get what he wanted that is.  Budweiser was declared Mayor.  (For some reason I thought Budweiser was spelled with a Z. Oops!)

Now let’s move to the reason for this post.  The family’s trip to Egypt!

Oh yay…

Well, don’t sound so thrilled.

Would you be thrilled if you had to spend your entire vacation in the crypt?

Try the rest of your existence, Nutmeg.

Good point.

I fail at getting good pictures of the happening while the family is on their vacations.  I just get so caught up with those missions.  I have no pictures of Nutmeg’s time in the crypt which really is not that terrible because it’s just a rabbit hole anyway.  Nutmeg was sent to get me a magical gnome!  And she did come back with one!  After she got it I let her befriend one of the locals a woman named Uum (more on that later).

Somehow we left Egypt with three magical gnomes.

How was I supposed to know Butter and Apricot would find two more?  The one we kept was named Amenhotep.

Amenhotep

The one you kept?

She sold the other two.

Nutmeg was pretty depressed having gone through all that work and ending up with three so I sold the other two and zapped her with the moodlet manager.  Besides I don’t want too many of those little buggers around, just one of each is fine with me.

I see more trips to the crypt in your future, Nutmeg.

So do I… *sad face*

Me too! *grins*

Butter spent most of her time tomb raiding.   But she refused to go anywhere alone, she didn’t want any crazies following her around this time .  Which meant that Apricot also tomb raided most of the vacation.

Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

Butter got Apricot into a good bit of trouble.  Apricot caught on fire…

Apricot: Sweet bread and butter, that hurts! Butter: Stop drop and roll!!!

Was it something she ate?  Har har har!

You have no class.

Apricot was electrocuted…

Apricot: I'm really tired of thizzzzz... Butter: I wonder how my stocks are doing...

Good luck getting that smell out of your hair!

Apricot was attacked by mummies…

Apricot: Uhh, a little help, please. Butter: Ooo, shiny.

And I thought that zombie bear in the crypt was scary!  My poor Apricot!

She was so terrified that she wet herself and then passed out.

Butter: Apricot are you sleeping on the job. Hee hee, I'm so funny!

To be fair, Butter wasn’t without her mishaps too.  She was attacked by the dreaded Jitterbugs.

Yikes!

She was nearly trapped forever inside a sarcophagus.

*muffled screams*

And she was shot with arrows.

Uuuu...

By the end of their trip the girls had learned some valuable lessons.  Butter now disarms traps before stepping on them.

Butter: You're not going to get me this time arrows!

Apricot decided to be ready for anything anytime they had to enter unknown territory.

Apricot: I'm ready, you can open the door.

Thank the good Llama for valuable lessons!

That’s my girls, learning fom their mistakes.

What do you think Apricot learned from marrying Budweiser?

Two words: Family Inventory.

Right.  Shutting up.

While the girls were off on their tomb raiding adventure.  Budweiser and Anise were hard at work skilling.  Anise was about to complete her gardening skill late one night when I noticed this:

Holy EAxis!!!!  That is her sister’s husband!

Not being one to deny my s*ims of their wishes, I let them kiss…

You what?

Oops.

It was awesome.  I felt like  National Geographic photographer as I hid in the trees and took a picture.

*kissing sounds*

This is disgusting.  I can’t believe Anise did this.

I think maybe Anise partook of the Egyptian wine.

There’s more.

Anise: How about you an me go pitch a tent?

*groan*

They didn’t…

They did.  Come on, like Budweiser is going to pass up an opportunity like that!

Anise: We've got to keep this quiet. Mother is in the tent next to us.

I’m feeling sick.

Incest, it’s spreading like a disease!

Bud worked up and appetite then went back in for more.

*shudders*  All this time I thought I had some honeymooners in the tent next to me.  I even mentioned it to Anise the next morning…

Oh jeez, that is priceless!

The next morning Apricot wanted to spend some time with her husband.

He's just not that in to you

I can not believe he was kissing his wife and thinking about his whore!

*silently weeping*

Wow, this family is just falling apart at the seams.

At least Apricot is not the heiress.  Butter will do better.

Butter doesn’t even have a boyfriend yet.  This Legacy is going down in flames and it’s not from the Fire Crotch!  Though, if Budweiser has been sleeping around, it’s only a matter of time…

Budweiser promptly excused himself and went to the restroom.  Where he called Gladys.

No, I'm stuck in Egypt with the family.

What an ass!

Whoa, hey there!  That language is not-

Shove it!

And I promised more about Nutmeg’s friendship with Uum.  Just before the vacation was over Nutmeg rolled the wish to kiss her.

Wow!  That was some friendship, Nutmeg!

I…I’m terribly lonely now that Nouget is gone…

Right…

It happened right before the family had to leave.  I didn’t gt the opportunity to fulfill the wish for her.  But I plan on inviting Uum over for a visit.

Just keep your girl away from Budweiser, Nutmeg.

* * *

When the family returned home it was time for Gouda’s birthday!

Oh yay, a birthday...

Why is Butter in her underwear?

Because this is a Legacy Challenge and that is how birthdays are done Legacy Style.

Gouda turned into a toddler.

Gouda as a toddler

Go ahead and say it.

I can’t…

Just do it.

Oh my llama hair!  She needs a surgeon, look at her nose!  We’ve go to fix that!  We’ve got to fix it now before it get’s any worse.  Someone give me a knife I’LL DO IT!   *panting* Ugh, I feel better now.

That was quiet a freak out.

Yeah, I’m just going to sit quietly until I stop shaking.

Freak.

After the birthday party Apricot took Gouda to the library for some speed skilling.   Budweiser crept into the other room and called Gladys.

Bud: Uhh... S-so can I put you down for a donation? Great! Nutmeg: It smells great in here.

He uses his career to speak in code to his mistress.

Nutmeg was secretly thinking of taking the burning incense and cramming it up Budweiser’s nose.  She has a secret desire to hear him squeal like a pig.

While at the library, Apricot kept wishing for another baby.

Apricot has baby fever.

Too baby all that no good husband of hers is busy making babies with her cousin!

Gladys showed up while Apricot was out.  Budweiser rushed her into the studio where they could have some privacy.

Gladys: Did my water just break?

Told you, it’s all a code…

Gladys wen’t into labor while hiding out in the studio.  Budweiser had to rush her to the hospital.

Kind of him…

Baby Joyce

She gave birth to a girl and named her Joyce.  Budweiser swaggered out of the hospital like a proud peacock.  He very kindly drove her home where he quickly impregnated her again.

I told you that girl is a predator!  She is going to use her children against this family I just know it!

Georgia Food, Gladys's little sister.

He also met Gladys’s younger sister, Georgia.  Georgia is Brie’s daughter from her affair with a married man.  Looks like Escargot and Kit Kat didn’t move from the Legacy House soon enough…

What is Budweiser doing talking to her?

Don’t know, maybe he likes to keep his options open.  Brie moved herself and her daughter, Georgia to a new house after the shame that Gladys brought upon their family.

Shame?  She did the same thing Brie did.

Yes, but Brie did it with someone with another last name.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the house: Anise completed her LTW and moved out after I gave her a job in the music career.  But not before Frittat had her birthday!

Toddler Frittata

Frittata also has a new mother.  During the vacation to Egypt Butter realized that she missed Frittata too much not to adopt her.  After all of the proper paperwork was completed Frittat can now call Butter mommy.  And!  Are you ready for some shady twisting of the rules?  Frittata will be a part of the next heir poll!  She may not be Butter biological daughter, but she is still a part of the bloodline.  So she goes in.  It’s up to you weather or not she becomes our new heiress.  I think she is just too cute.

And that’s it for this post.  Wow, it’s a long one.  As always, thanks for reading and happy simming!

Say bye Lincoln.

Lincoln: Bye-bye

Oh, instead of leaving you with Food For Thought, I will leave you with a Picture to Ponder.

Picture to Ponder


 

 

 

 

 

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About skehrer

I am a happily married mother of two sweet little girls. The Sims is my not so secret addiction.
This entry was posted in Legacy Challenge, Sims 3 and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to What Happens in Egypt Stays in Egypt

  1. Pingback: Egyptian Vacation | SKehrer's Sim Stuff

  2. Gerit says:

    *Waves to Lincoln*

    Noooo!!! Nutmeg is going to die?!

    *Wipes soda off of computer screen* Remind me not to take any ‘advice’ from you.

    • skehrer says:

      Nutmeg is still alive and kicking. I think she may live longer than Barley did. But I confess I keep waiting for the reaper to take her from me.

      I give sound advice. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt my sims…ahem…yeah…

  3. Amanda says:

    Is Derik and Budweiser the same person? I love how Fritata turned out, with the white hair. Perfect. I’m getting my vote in early for Fritata to be the next heir.

  4. Madcapp says:

    Loved this one. The adventures are always so funny and I’m glad Death’s baby gets to be in the running!

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