It has come to my attention that Miller has a bit of a drinking problem.
Edamame: Well, it wouldn’t be a problem if he was a fish!
As always, Edamame, you’re a bucket of sympathy.
Edamame: I can’t help who I am, I can’t help but care.
Juice was the first to confront Miller about his problem…kinda… I’m not sure Miller really got what Juice was trying to say.
Edamame: Does Juice even understand the words that come out of his mouth?
That’s a good question. One that will probably go unanswered unless Juice can find a quote or song lyric to cover it.
Miller tried to give an impromptu drunk serenade to Frittata. But he ended up breaking a string.
Edamame: Ugh, Frittata! NO ONE likes to be nagged.
Who’s side are you on?
Edamame: No one. I’m a chaotic neutral. I do what I want.
Frittata then complained that Miller was too drunk to make drinks and he was going to spill alcohol everywhere.
Edamame: Hey, is he double jointed? How is he doing that?
Of course he spilled it everywhere.
Edamame: I’ll bet Butter cleaned that mess in a jiffy.
Butter: Mess? Where?
No one could get through to Miller, he was drinking his life away and didn’t care.
Steak came home to find Miller out cold on the floor.
Miller had not been very nice to Steak since moving into the house. While Miller was passed out Steak took his revenge. I don’t know what he did, but I do know that Steak had been in the junkyard and digging through trashcans all day.
Strawberry had a visitor one night. Tina Newton, her I’ll-be-your-girlfriend-after-I-graduate-girlfriend came over. Imagine my and Strawberry’s shock when we discovered Tina was pregnant. Yes, Tina, became a statistic like her older sister, Bonita.
Thank goodness we have a family tree we can click into. Anyway, Strawberry was so shocked over Tina’s baby belly that she was stuck making this Garth Algar-like face (Wayne’s World).
The Strawberry got angry.
Tina told her she didn’t have time for her heartbreak and walked off.
Strawberry was heartbroken. She decided to turn to a woman from work that she’s had a small flirtation with…she thought…
Edamame: Strawberry is going to die alone. Tragic, yet not surprising.
Strawberry gave up and decided to scope out the bar scene. After work she headed for the closest dive bar, Waylon’s Haunt. The place was dead except for Brenda Conway and her unborn baby. Strawberry was in a foul mood and itching for a fight.
Edamame: Why is a pregnant woman in a bar?
Maybe she likes bar food?
Edamame: Shouldn’t it be, “I’m about to take out the trash?”
Work with me here, Edamame! It was like a switch was flipped and Strawberry got ugly.
Edamame: Wait, she got ugly? That implies that she wasn’t already, which is a lie. Because you, I and all your readers know that is one UGLY sim.
Little did Strawberry know Brenda was not in a relationship with the baby’s father. She just wanted a baby.
After strawberry realized her mistake. She tried hitting on Brenda. (Sorry about the sloppy walls down shot.)
Edamame: Ooh, burnnnn…
On the other side of town Steak was at his second home, the junkyard. Perfect place for a birthday!
aaaaand he nearly blew himself up.
Steak’s new trait gained was Mean-Spirited. Miller will hopefully tread carefully around Steak for now on. He also gained the LTW Descendant of DaVinci. He’s got a lot of work to do.
Peach also had her birthday. Yay, she’s suddenly less boring!
Edamame: Hrm. I don’t know, she looks a lot like her mother…
Oh, you’re useless!
Juice met his woman a the diner, she was bringing his newborn son Helmut with her.
Edamame: Where’s the baby?
There’s the baby!
Edamame: I’m not going to tell anyone how to parent. But I don’t think that is the right way to hold on to a baby.
Apparently she down’t bathe the baby.
Butter: OMG! Was that baby! He needs a nice warm-no hot, hot, hot bath.
Edamame: Oh there you are. And apparently you want to boil the baby clean.
Apparently Bonita was having a bad mommy day and she’s had enough.
Butter: NOOOO! DON’T THROW THE BABY AWAY!!!!
Edamame: Freaking kidding me! That was my ear, Butter!
Instead she dropped the baby.
Butter: She put the baby on the ground! Doesn’t she know birds and dogs and other animals do their…their “dooty” on the ground!!!
Edamame: Clearly he doesn’t know his own son’s name.
Okay, this is where I will leave this tonight. Hope you all enjoyed it!
Juice’s quotes in order of appearance: Quantum of Solace, Spanglish, Donnie Darko, Tommy Boy