Chapter 84: There’s a Tear in My Beer

Two updates, TWO UPDATES!!!  Don’t you feel special.

It has come to my attention that Miller has a bit of a drinking problem.

Edamame: Well, it wouldn’t be a problem if he was a fish!

As always, Edamame, you’re a bucket of sympathy.

Edamame: I can’t help who I am, I can’t help but care.

*headdesk*

Juice was the first to confront Miller about his problem…kinda…  I’m not sure Miller really got what Juice was trying to say.

Juice: You'll be getting botulism if you keep drinking that.

 

Juice: You were an alcoholic and wildly promiscuous woman... Miller: Get your insane babble out of my face!

Edamame: Does Juice even understand the words that come out of his mouth?

That’s a good question.  One that will probably go unanswered unless Juice can find a quote or song lyric to cover it.

Miller tried to give an impromptu drunk serenade to Frittata.  But he ended up breaking a string.

Miller: Hang on a ssssec... Ima gun ssssing fer ya.

Miller: GAhhh, damn. Broke a ssssring. Lemme get a drin an calm my nerves.

Frittata: I don't think you need another drink, Miller. Miller: Woman! I'm tired of your nagging!

Edamame: Ugh, Frittata!  NO ONE likes to be nagged.

Who’s side are you on?

Edamame: No one.  I’m a chaotic neutral.  I do what I want.

Frittata then complained that Miller was too drunk to make drinks and he was going to spill  alcohol everywhere.

 

Miller: No'm nnnot...

Edamame: Hey, is he double jointed?  How is he doing that?

Of course he spilled it everywhere.

 

Miller: Ssssall right. I'll clean it up, juss get me a ssssraw.

Edamame: I’ll bet Butter cleaned that mess in a jiffy.

Butter: Mess?  Where?

No one could get through to Miller, he was drinking his life away and didn’t care.

Miller drinking.

Steak came home to find Miller out cold on the floor.

Miller: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Miller had not been very nice to Steak since moving into the house.  While Miller was passed out Steak took his revenge.  I don’t know what he did, but I do know that Steak had been in the junkyard and digging through trashcans all day.

Miller: Ugh, T-Bone, did I hit my head? Steak: It's Steak, dude.

Miller: Listen, Beef Jerky, you tell Frittata about this and I-will-CUT-you! Steak: Dude, it's STEAK!

 

Miller: Why does my mouth taste like a garbage can?

Strawberry had a visitor one night.  Tina Newton, her I’ll-be-your-girlfriend-after-I-graduate-girlfriend came over.  Imagine my and Strawberry’s shock when we discovered Tina was pregnant.  Yes, Tina, became a statistic like her older sister, Bonita.

Edamame: I hope she knows who the father is.  You always see girls like this on those talk shows and they don’t know who their baby’s daddy is.  It could be one of 15 guys-

Thank goodness we have a family tree we can click into.  Anyway, Strawberry was so shocked over Tina’s baby belly that she was stuck making this Garth Algar-like face (Wayne’s World).

Strawberry: Uuuuhhhh

The Strawberry got angry.

Strawberry: how could you do this to us?

Tina told her she didn’t have time for her heartbreak and walked off.

 

Tina: Psh, talk to the hand, b'cuz the face don't understand.

Strawberry was heartbroken.  She decided to turn to a woman from work that she’s had a small flirtation with…she thought…

Strawberry: You too?

Edamame: Strawberry is going to die alone. Tragic, yet not surprising.

Strawberry gave up and decided to scope out the bar scene.  After work she headed for the closest dive bar, Waylon’s Haunt.  The place was dead except for Brenda Conway and her unborn baby.  Strawberry was in a foul mood and itching for a fight.

 

Strawberry: That hat looks stupid. Brenda: Excuse me?

Edamame: Why is a pregnant woman in a bar?

Maybe she likes bar food?

 

Strawberry: Hold on, I'm about to take out the laundry.

Edamame: Shouldn’t it be, “I’m about to take out the trash?”

Work with me here, Edamame!  It was like a switch was flipped and Strawberry got ugly.

 

Strawberry: Why are you pregnant! Why is EVERYONE pregnant!!!

Edamame: Wait, she got ugly?  That implies that she wasn’t already, which is a lie.  Because you, I and all your readers know that is one UGLY sim.

Little did Strawberry know Brenda was not in a relationship with the baby’s father.  She just wanted a baby.

Edamame: Do not ever show me that picture again.  I don’t know what is wrong with her.  Looking like that is just not normal.  I can’t even focus on the story anymore.  She so ugly it’s all I can hear!!!

After strawberry realized her mistake.  She tried hitting on Brenda. (Sorry about the sloppy walls down shot.)

Strawberry: You know I'm part of that Legacy with Death's daughter. Brenda: Too late.

Edamame: Ooh, burnnnn…

On the other side of town Steak was at his second home, the junkyard.  Perfect place for a birthday!

 

Steak as a young adult

aaaaand he nearly blew himself up.

Steak: Am I on Saturn?

Steak’s new trait gained was Mean-Spirited.  Miller will hopefully tread carefully around Steak for now on.  He also gained the LTW Descendant of DaVinci.  He’s got a lot of work to do.

Peach also had her birthday.  Yay, she’s suddenly less boring!

She's a Peach!

Edamame: Hrm.  I don’t know, she looks a lot like her mother…

Oh, you’re useless!

Juice met his woman a the diner, she was bringing his newborn son Helmut with her.

Edamame: Where’s the baby?

There’s the baby!

One handed baby holding.

Edamame: I’m not going to tell anyone how to parent.  But I don’t think that is the right way to hold on to a baby.

Apparently she down’t bathe the baby.

 

Filthy baby

Butter: OMG!  Was that baby!  He needs a nice warm-no hot, hot, hot bath.

Edamame: Oh there you are.  And apparently you want to boil the baby clean.

Apparently Bonita was having a bad mommy day and she’s had enough.

Juice: Don't, don't, don't throw it away.

Butter: NOOOO!  DON’T THROW THE BABY AWAY!!!!

Edamame: Freaking kidding me!  That was my ear, Butter!

Instead she dropped the baby.

Edamame: Perhaps given the options the trash would have been better than being dropped on the sidewalk?

Butter: She put the baby on the ground!  Doesn’t she know birds and dogs and other animals do their…their “dooty” on the ground!!!

 

Juice: Luke, I am your father.

Edamame: Clearly he doesn’t know his own son’s name.

Okay, this is where I will leave this tonight.  Hope you all enjoyed it!

Juice’s quotes in order of appearance: Quantum of Solace, Spanglish, Donnie Darko, Tommy Boy

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About skehrer

I am a happily married mother of two sweet little girls. The Sims is my not so secret addiction.
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14 Responses to Chapter 84: There’s a Tear in My Beer

  1. Pingback: Two New Posts in 24-Hours | SKehrer's Sim Stuff

  2. geritwag says:

    *Headdesk*

    I was just about to put up a post about Agatha developing a drinking problem. Oh well… nevermind. The show must go on!

    Edamame just died in my legacy (oh noes!). Surprisingly she outlasted her husband…

    “Oh there you are. And apparently you want to boil the baby clean.” Mmmm… boiled baby.

    • skehrer says:

      You should still post what you’re planning. Don’t let Miller ruin your plans like he’s ruining his life!!! I am behind on your blog, apparently I have forgotten to subscribe! Durrr.

  3. Senny Paine says:

    I think Strawberry is pretty…. when she doesn’t talk… or have an expression.
    I knew that Miller would be bad news!!! Wait… is this cannibalistic?

    Peach needs siblings!! Wonder if the entire legacy is turning into Grim-Genetics?

    • skehrer says:

      I wonder that same thing. I’m sure the skin tone will fade if I need them with light skinned sims…maybe.

      As far as Miller is concerned I don’t think he cares if it’s cannibalistic. He’s just more concerned about staying drunk.

  4. Sam says:

    That was a laff riot. But dang Miller is hot!

    • skehrer says:

      Thanks, so glad you had a great time! Miller is tasty. I keep trying to put him up for download, but it’s not working. I’ll try making him base game compatible and try again.

  5. Rogue says:

    How do you get the notifications to pop up? I never see these.

  6. Rogue says:

    No, I mean in game about the family.

  7. retroberrii says:

    OMGLOL about boiling the baby clean. I just love Butter and she must be so much fun to play/write. My favorite sim I ever played had ocd lol. She was an insane neurotic neat perfectionist. I had so much fun writing her personality in my head.

  8. skehrer says:

    Thanks! Do you have a published blog too? I’d love to check it out.

  9. Madcapp says:

    Miller: Hang on a ssssec… Ima gun ssssing fer ya.

    LMAO

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