Chapter 85: She’s Leaving Home

Peek-a-boo, Papa Bear, I see you!

Papa Bear: What?  Aahhh, crap!

Steak is becoming a disappointment to me.  He still hasn’t brought me that inventing gnome.  He has managed to catch himself on fire though.

Steak: Who's cooking barbecue?

Edamame: Good thing he’s not heir.  I can see this legacy going down in flames, har har har!

I’d laugh, if you were funny.  I’m over half way through this legacy.  I do not find the thought of it failing funny.

See the shower?  It’s right there, RIGHT there!  I clicked on it and I clicked on it and I CLICKED ON IT!!!!  The dummy ran right by it.  Apparently he wants to die a terrible death like Leroy Seckie.

Steak: WAAAAAAAA! I'M ON FIRE!!!

Edamame:  What is with all the paintings?  It looks so tacky.

Thanks!  Those paintings are worth a lot of simoleans.  I’ve been saving them up since Ginger started painting.  I’m running out of places to put them.

Steak ran into the hallway and tried to calm down.

Steak: pant, pant, pant...

Edamame: Oh, I’m a little disappointed.  This family hasn’t had a death in quite some time.

Oh, it’s not over yet.

Steak: WeeeWOOOOOWeeee!!! WAAAAAAA!!!

Edamame: Great he sounds like an ambulance.  Somebody call the waaambulance!  Doesn’t he know that is not how you call in an emergency?

Cut him some slack, he’s a Food.  They’re not known for their intelligence.

Edamame: Isn’t that the tru-  HEY!

I just call it as I see it.  Steak finally had the wonderful idea to use the shower that was RIGHT NEXT TO THE INVENTING TABLE.

Fire: HISsssssss...

Edamame: Well, he didn’t die and you got my hopes up.

Stop pouting.  Don’t you want this legacy to go on?

Edamame: Not if you’re going to make an uglacy out of it.

Yeah, that’s going to be fun.  After the fire I decided to have steak paint for a while, but more on that later.

Frittata and Miller were going out one night.  While they were getting ready Crisco rode by the house on his bike.

Bike bell: ring, ring

Edamame: How LAME!  He should install a banana seat, basket and handle bar ribbons.

Raspberry very nearly dropped a brick when she saw him out her bedroom window.  Funny thing is Raspberry had just been talking to her mirror.  She’s named her mirror Crisco.  Weird huh?

Raspberry: Holy Will Wright, CRISCO!!! CRISCO!!! CRISCO! Criscocriscocriscocriscocrisco...crisco...

Edamame:  Does she kiss that mirror at night?

I would assume so.

Edamame: Is Crisco married?

No, but Brenda Conway just had his baby.

Edamame:  Wait, the Brenda Conway that Strawberry was hitting on at the bar?

Yes that very same one.  And the Bredna Conway that Strawberry is now calling every night.

Strawberry?: But Brenda, we belong together.

Edamame: Aren’t they sworn enemies?

Yeah, Brenda isn’t having anything to do with Strawberry.

Edamame: Like I said, she’s going to die alone.  And that’s fine because she won’t be spready her ugly genes anywhere.

You haven’t read Rated R for Language.

Edamame: You know I don’t read.  Last thing I read was Donut’s book Baby Mama Drama.  It was so full of lies that I just have’t been able to read anything since.

Well, as the author Andie could tell you, two ugly sims doesn’t mean an ugly baby.  Her founder’s granddaughter, Yasmin is gorgeous!

Edamame: Yeah well, I still think we should do simkind a favor and not let Strawberry have offspring.

In other news:

Juice came home one night without being arrested.

Juice: This guy is a badass. (Grosse Pointe Blank)

Miller is still a drunk.

Miller: Grag I gotta m'member t'change m'underwear.

Edamame: Llama Balls, that is GROSS!  How long has he been wearing them?  Looks like they’re getting sticky.

I don’t know, maybe he was trying to make cheese.  Miller Cheese…gross…

Edamame: Butt cheese.

My 18 month old just played with a piece of poo from her diaper!  I’ll be potty training this weekend.

Edamame: *gags* Children are so gross.

Juice: Gibson, you've been drinking again... (Monkey Business) Miller: Hahah... yeah...

Edamame: Look at him, he thinks it’s funny!!!

Aren’t you happy the legacy might drown in a bottle?

Edamame: NO, yes!  I don’t know.  I’m confused!!!

It looks like alcohol isn’t Miller’s only vice…  It looks like he might be taking drugs as well.

Miller: snnnnnniiiiiiffffff

Edamame: I don’t know.  If he hasn’t changed his underwear in a while it might be a scratch and sniff situation.

Could be.  Let’s hope that’s what he was doing.

Edamame: Does he know who Frittata’s father is?  Maybe that would scare him straight?

Back to Steak and his painting.  Apparently he really likes it because when he paints he notices nothing else.  Even someone dying in the same room.

Butter: Uh, Steak. Steak: Not now, I just finished a 25 simolean painting.

Edamame: Er…oh, I hadn’t noticed her absence…

Butter: Steak, something is happening. Maybe you should get Strawberry. Steak: *YAWN* That painting took a lot out of me. Juice: We'll go out for pineapple, my bobbly-headed boobily-boo. (Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa)

Edamame: Yeah, paging Dr. Ape.

Finally Steak turned around and saw his mother’s ghost floating above the floor.  He burst into tears.

Miller: *ga (hic) sp* Ppork Chhopsss ssswahhappen? Steak: I was just so tired, I didn't know what was happening. Butter: It's okay. I finally feel clean.

Edamame: Hahahahaha!  The only time she feels clean is when she doesn’t have any skin!  Somehow I’m not surprised.

Miller was trying to be sympathetic, but he had other things on his mind.

Juice: She's dead meat. (Full Metal Jacket) Miller: Uh... Can we hurry thisss sup. I have gotta hit tha jjjohn.

Strawberry was beside herself.

Strawberry: Why do all the women in my life leave me?

Edamame: In the future, if you can avoid using close up pictures of Strawberry.  I would really appreciate it.

Yeah, I don’t see that happening.  Peach was traumatized over the whole ordeal.

Peach: Grandpa took Grandma away...

Raspberry came home and couldn’t be bothered mourning her mother’s death.  She had more important things to do.

Raspberry: Eh, screw it. I gotta go see my boyfriend.

Edamame: Who’s her boyfriend?

She “thinks” it’s Crisco.  She hangs out at his house during the hours she isn’t working.

 

Raspberry: *creepy whisper* I see you...

Edamame: It’s like Fatal Attraction.  I hope he doesn’t own a rabbit.

Frittata kept herself hidden away in the entry, avoiding the father that walked out on her.

Frittata *sobbing*

Edamame: I don’t care what you say.  She still looks topless to me.

The ramblings of a drunk man.  Miller’s imagination had gotten the better of him.

Juice: I'm Starving. Let's get something to eat. (True Romance) Miller: Oh no! She's dead and we're going to have to eat the body, AND I'M A VEGETARIAN!!!!

Edamame: Like they’re going to eat her.  It’s not like they’re stranded on a mountain top or anything.  *whispers* They’re not going to eat her or anything, right?

Of course not!

Edamame: But everything must be closed by now.

Have you ever seen High Strung?  You don’t eat someone just because the bars are closed!  Idiot!

Speaking of idiots.  Miller wet himself.

Miller: Ah, ssshhh- damn.....

Edamame: Looks like he finally has a reason to change his underwear.

The news around town is (bloodline):

Steven Bronx died.

His widow is now dating Crisco.

Who just had a baby with Brenda Conway.

My simself’s daughter married Bradford Food.  Which is great because she was pregnant!

Lynn Food and his cousin Brandie Food had another baby.

Well, that’s it for today.  I’ll try to get the first post of Generation 6 up sometime this weekend.  In the meantime, thanks for reading.

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About skehrer

I am a happily married mother of two sweet little girls. The Sims is my not so secret addiction.
This entry was posted in Legacy Challenge, Sims 3 and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Chapter 85: She’s Leaving Home

  1. hannahthesimmingfool says:

    I love the Fatal Attraction reference! xD made me laugh SOOOO hard!

  2. Rad says:

    I have a load of inventing gnomes but NOT ONE laundry bear.

  3. seraphyem says:

    Hi! I’ve just finished reading your blog from start til now… no now! And I have enjoyed every moment of it :D. If I am honest I have tried reading it a few times, but… I am a simple girl who requires simple navigational instructions. Now that you have arrows I’m a happy girl (arrows are the simplest navigational instructions of all).

    Uh, ❤ Edamame. Seriously love how she's stuck around and how she interacts with you and her descendants. Also kudos for sticking with it, I only have one (feral, computer obsessed) 2 yo and find my simming also has to occur during nap-time and late night as well.

    • skehrer says:

      Thanks for your lovely comment! It took me forever to find a blog theme that I liked! This one can be a bit sonny with the font formatting, but I too love the ease of arrows! Naptime+Bedtime= Simtime. 🙂

  4. Senny Paine says:

    Do we get to hear from Fritty now?!
    That would be awesome!!
    >_> Bet she’d put Edamame in her place… or maybe not… but they could have some interesting talks about the family and the genepool.

    • skehrer says:

      Yes, Fritty will be joining us. I haven’t figured out just yet how I will use her. I am sure that Edamame will hate her as she hates everyone she must share the spotlight with.

      I have time to figure it out, since I installed Outdoor Living my game crashes to desktop randomly! It is so frustrating!

  5. omg I’m such a bad uglacy player.

    *runs into traffic*

  6. Amanda Dorn says:

    She’s Leaving Home is a total Beatles reference. Did you do that for you favorite (only) sister?

    “Edamame: I don’t know.  If he hasn’t changed his underwear in a while it might be a scratch and sniff situation.” my favorite line.

    Isn’t High Strung the movie we used to quote in high school? “can I get u more coffee? Top it off for ya?”

    • skehrer says:

      Yeah, i knew it was a Beatles reference. Glad you FINALLY got to see it!
      Yes, High Strung! Remember how funny we thought it was? (I probably still do.) Rob was not amused by it when I tried to get him to watch it… 😦

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